The moment of truth...

I haven’t abandoned my blog, I swear.  J and I decided that we weren’t going to say anything about the outcome of the IVF until mid-July- whether it was good or bad.  If things were bad we wanted that time to deal with our feelings together and if it was good we wanted to make sure we got to the first ultrasound and heard a heartbeat.

At the end of June I got my two Hcg blood beta tests.  13DPO- 177 and 15 DPO- 385.  So, at this point we know that I am pregnant and it is most likely not a chemical pregnancy.  I should have been ecstatic-over the moon happy at this point but I wasn’t.  All I could say was that I was about 5% excited.  The other 95% was scared shitless that this pregnancy was not going to work out.  It was such a weird feeling.  We worked so hard to get to this point- only to feel fearful of the past repeating. 

My OHSS symptoms really started to decrease about a week after getting the positive blood tests.  My stomach went back to a near normal size and I felt like I could breathe again!  Around 6 weeks pregnant my left side really began bothering me and being the crazy infertile lady I couldn’t help but believe that I was having an ectopic pregnancy (when the pregnancy grows outside of the uterus).  I made an appointment to have an ultrasound done a week earlier to check out whatever was going on inside. 

J and I sat nervously inside the same ultrasound room with the same ultrasound tech that gave us the bad news two years ago.  She did the transvaginal ultrasound for about 7-10 minutes before she even said anything to us.  This woman has the best poker face I have ever seen!  We should have taken her to Vegas with us maybe we actually would have won a few bucks.

She turns the screen towards us and wipes her forehead as if this is about to be an exhausting conversation.  In my head I’m just thinking, ok here’s the bad news get ready.   Instead, she starts describing what she sees- the gestational sac, the pole, the itty bitty baby and it’s humongous beating heart.  Ah what a relief.  She measured the baby and it was right on target.  We even got to hear the heartbeat. 

After that she says “And over here…”  I started to tear up and asked “There’s two??” and she motioned with her fingers- two.  J yells, “Oh SHIT!” hahaha.  We just could not believe it. Obviously we knew there would be a possibility of having twins because we put two embryos back in, but to actually see those two babies on the ultrasound screen was unreal.   We were able to see Baby B’s heartbeat but it was too far back to hear this one.  Baby B also measured right on target.  We were just hoping to have our fears relieved that everything was going ok with the pregnancy, but to be able to see TWO heartbeats at 5 weeks 6 days (5w6d) just blew our minds.

We went back for the original ultrasound we had scheduled at 6w6d and were able to see that the babies had grown as they were supposed to and this time we heard both heartbeats!  What a blessing. 

At this time I can say that we are both 100% excited.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t have any fears, because I still worry a lot, but we are trying to enjoy this time because it has been such a journey to get here.  J and I just want to say thanks again to everyone who has supported us throughout this time and for all of the prayers we received.  We are soooo excited to begin planning for our two little blessings. 

The Physical and Emotional of IVF

The Emotional of IVF

Well we aren’t quite at the end of this IVF cycle, and I’m sure the “end” (or beginning depending how it works out) will prove to be more emotional than the part we have already been through, but I’d like to say that we have kind of breezed through this cycle emotionally.  We were so ready to make this step and move on to actively trying to create a baby rather than the things we had already tried.  It was also reassuring to know that we have a backup plan- as many frozen embryo transfers as possible and another fresh IVF cycle if it comes to that point.  I’m sure if we get to the second fresh IVF there will be more desperation for it to work, because we don’t have a plan beyond that.

But this time around has been pretty easy.  J and I have debated whether or not being away from home and work during such a large portion of the cycle made it easier for us.  I can see both sides.  I thought being away would leave more time for me to think, but actually those two weeks went by super fast!  We did a lot of hanging out and lounging around, but that part of your cycle is so action oriented you don’t really have to obsess over what is coming next. 

So, I wasn’t stressed out during this cycle, but I was kind of a bitch.  To J Bird.  The person who deserves it least in this world.   I blame it on the meds.  I’m not sure what exactly made me grow horns, but I’m going to blame it on the Lupron. J took it like a champ though, just letting me get it out and moving on.  Thank goodness that is over with!  Now that I only take progesterone I haven’t been having any mean-ness side effects.   

Thank God we have such a supportive network family, friends, work friends and acquaintances.  We have been so blessed to have everyone’s support throughout this process and it really does mean a lot to J and I for those of you who have been following along, praying, supporting our decisions, and just generally been awesome throughout this process.  I think this positive network has really helped us not to be stressed during this time, so thank you to everyone who has been praying for and with us.

The Physical of IVF

I’m gonna keep it real.  I was worried that I would gain weight from IVF, then get pregnant and be 10 lbs heavier than usual and then pack on the normal pregnancy weight.  Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about gaining weight.  The birth control kicked it off with nausea and then as soon as I started taking the Lupron and Dex I experienced headaches everyday.  Even though I had my usual appetite I still lost 6 lbs. 

I was able to work out like usual until the stim meds, then the nurse said no activities that would “make my ponytail bounce” so I quit running and switched to the stair stepper.  Once we got to Vegas I could only work out comfortably on the elliptical for a few days, until my ovaries started to feel big and bloated.  For two weeks I took it easy, the only real physical activity I partook in was a hike three days after the retrieval.  I’m slowly working myself back into the gym, but it’s not easy because I get so winded!

I took all of my shots in my thighs and just the slightest of bruise marks remain.  Now, my backside where I get the PIO is a different story! Bruises and needle marks galore back there.    

Thankfully, we had a great cycle with minimal emotional and physical side effects.  We continue to pray for the positive final outcome!

LA and 3 day report and lots of pics!

CD (Cycle Day) 12 & CD 13 LA trip!

The first PIO shot went well last night.  I iced the area for about 5 minutes and did not feel a thing!  I walked around for a few minutes afterwards and kneaded the area with my fingers to prevent bumps.  Then I laid down on a heating pad and it seemed to do the trick to reduce pain.  J did a great job!  He was nervous but now that he has done it once, I think he will be a pro. 

Today we hung out by the pool and started some of our continuing education courses that we both need to complete.  My stomach feels really large and bloated.  I am pretty uncomfortable but I downing Gatorade like nobody’s business.  Personally I love Gatorade so it’s no problem for me!

We decided to go to LA just to sight see and for our 2 year anniversary.  I have heard about the traffic, but being stuck in it is a different experience!  We went to the Griffith Observatory, rode around Hollywood Blvd, Sunset Blvd, Rodeo Drive and Beverly Hills.  Hollywood Blvd was so congested we didn’t even want to get out of the car- so we didn’t.  Beverly Hills was just beautiful, as expected.  Then we went driving on Mulholland Drive hoping to see some gorgeous mansions and we were not disappointed.  We tried to find some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills houses but they were all in gated communities boo.

Hollywood Sign from Griffith Observatory

Beverly Hills

Rodeo Drive

Villa Blanca- Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant

9021-Pho so punny

Afterwards we walked on the Santa Monica Pier and had a drink at the Loews Hotel before our dinner there at Ocean and Vine.  The meal was amazing- I ate sushi, tempura and had wine which is of course a no-no when you are pregnant but A ok during the 5-day wait!   Before leaving I told our server it was our anniversary and she brought a complementary tiramisu- my favvvvorite desert.  J Bird doesn’t like it, so I may or may not have housed both pieces.

Santa Monica Pier 

Just a man on a ladder, in a thong with two snakes.  Nothing to see here

Loews lounge

Santa Monica Fog roll

Tempura

Happy Anniversary!

Santa Monica Pier

Loews Lounge

CD 14 & CD 15- Day 3 (3 days after retrieval) report

Our nurse called this afternoon and let us know that out of the 13 fertilized eggs we have 12 that are still growing normally.  2- 5 celled, 6- 6 celled and 4- 8 celled.  The nurse said that with a day 3 report they like to see that the cells are between 5-9.  I have heard varying reports of 6-8, but since Dr. Sher does not do day 3 transfers, the most important thing is that they are on track to becoming blastocysts.  I can usually keep up with the IVF lingo, but this is where things become a bit complicated.  When the embryo becomes a blastocyst, it will be ready to transfer into my uterus.  A blastocyst has hundreds of cells so they are graded in a different way.

J and I were excited to hear that 12 of the embryos are still doing great, but it left me feeling a little wanting.  It lets us know things are still on track but all of that doesn’t matter until Day 5 or Day 6 (after retrieval) when we find out how many turned into blastocysts and if they are quality grades.  There are so many steps to IVF!  I called it instant gratification because you know what is going on in your body or with the embryos almost every step of the way, but J said that’s only if you are getting good news so we renamed it instant notification.

On the day before retrieval we took it easy, went to the strip to shop a bit and see the fountains at the Bellagio.  

Afterwards we hit up our fav spot in Vegas- Sweet Tomatoes! So yummy.

My stomach finally started to feel better last night and it seems as though all of the gatorade and coconut water has helped to decrease bloating.

Tomorrow is the big day- transfer day!  The nurse will call us by 9:30 am to let us know if the embryos have not become blastocysts and we will postpone the transfer to day 6.

  

Day off and Retrieval

CD 10- Off Day

Today I woke up and didn’t have to take any shots! And to cap it off I slept up 7:30 woohoo.  Actually, I did wake up at 5am and my ovaries just felt like they were going to burst.  I think I was sleeping curled up on my side and the extra pressure was not feeling so great.  I was so scared that something was wrong.  I laid there for about 20 minutes worrying about OHSS, but then finally got back to sleep.

We saw What to Expect When You’re Expecting and it was actually a lot funnier than I thought it would be.  It didn’t get stellar reviews and we were the only people in the theatre but we thought it was funny.  The only thing that pissed me off was (spoiler alert) Elizabeth Banks character tries for 2 years to get pregnant and then one day she drinks wine, (after abstaining for 2 years) has spontaneous sex with her husband in a park and BOOM she gets pregnant.  Not a stereotype at all! “Just stop trying so hard!” “When you stop trying it will happen” or the best line, just because it was delivered by a doctor that we were seeing for a semen analysis, “Get a six pack and have sex!”.  To everyone who has every given this advice- you must have been right because it happened in the movie!

Ok, let me repress my angry infertile and go back to what I originally wanted to comment on.  I felt so bad for Elizabeth Banks.  I know she chose to do this role, but it couldn’t have been easy for her seeing the issues she has had conceiving.  For anyone who doesn’t know she used a gestational carrier recently to have her baby.  I am sure that she tried for a while and heard all of the ignorant comments that people can make.  I can’t imagine how tough it must have been for her to play an infertility stereotype (Stop trying and it will happen).

We ate at this chain buffet restaurant- Souplantation and Sweet Tomatoes.  It’s amahzing (think Penny from Happy Endings).   It’s a salad buffet with awesome toppings (julienned butternut squash, summer squash, beets, carrots, broccoli stems), but they also have unlimited soups, breads, muffins, and fro yo.  Needless to say we were kind of stuffed afterwards so we walked off our meal at the Premier Outlets South.

I am resting for the rest of the night and gearing up for tomorrow!  The retrieval is set for 10:30 am and we are to be there an hour in advance.  In preparation for anesthesia I cannot have any foods or liquids after 12 tonight so it’s a good thing we will be doing the retrieval in the morning, cause I likes to eat.  Praying that the follicles will be nice and ripe and that they will have eggs in them!

CD 11- Retrieval

There was a lot of pressure on my abdomen when I work up this morning; again I think I was lying on my side.  I looked in the mirror and it looked like I was about 3 months pregnant because my lower abdomen was so distended.

I was only at the doctor’s office for about 5 minutes before they took me back into the surgery area to start prep.  The nurse went through all of the do not’s and included was no swimming!  Which kind of stinks because I was planning on lounging around the pool and this weekend we are going to LA to go to the beach and sight see.  Oh well, at least I can have a glass of wine to make up for the no swimming rule during my 5 day wait J

The anesthesiologist took me into the surgical room and they propped my legs up in stir up-like contraptions.  The doctor started me on something that was just to relax me.  She told me she was Canadian so of course I was super excited to talk to her about that!  The last thing I remember is Dr Sher coming and everyone agreeing I look like Reese Witherspoon ha.

When I woke up I was in a good amount of pain, specifically on the right side.  J Bird was right by my bedside and he was rubbing my back.  He then told me that when I came back I was moaning in pain and flashing my lady parts around in the bed!  I don’t remember that part, but I know that I was trying to turn on my side to ease the pain, so sorry to anyone I flashed!  J Bird got me some pain medicine at that point and I asked for some Tylenol before I left.  When I stood up to get dressed I was surprised to feel pain in my rectum.  I thought it has something to do with the endometriosis, but when Dr. Sher came in to give results he said that it is not uncommon to feel pain everywhere in that region.

The final stats for the day: 18 eggs retrieved and 13 were mature! Wonderful retrieval.  I was still in pain when I left so I grabbed a small bite to eat and some Gatorade.  When I got to the hotel it hit me how tired I was so I curled up with my heating pad and took a 2-hour nap.  When I woke up I was feeling a ton better.

Tomorrow we will get the fertilization report so we are definitely looking forward to that.  Tonight I start the Progesterone in Oil shot!! I am anxious about it and I know J Bird would rather skip the shot but it is a necessary evil.