"Tot school"- Circle time

I read a blogpost a few weeks ago that got me motivated to structure formal learning time into the girls day.  I believe that children learn a lot through play with guidance and help from adults and peers.

Why: Jason and I have been informally teaching skills this way for 2 years, using books, puzzles, blocks, baby dolls and every other toy you can imagine.  With my background in education I figured that I may as well add in some preschool elements while I am staying at home! I want this to be a fun experience for them and truth be told, I feel like I am running out of time with just my two little girls! Baby boy will be here in two months so I am trying to make my time with them count.

When: Right after breakfast I have the girls go into the play room (which is slowly transforming into their classroom) and we start circle time.  I knew whatever I did, I had to keep it quick and entertaining!

Setting:  In the corner of the playroom. I purchased a calendar at a teacher/parent resource store and hung the various pieces on the wall, slightly out of reach unless they are standing on something. The girls sit on their chairs, but once we have some room I would like for them to sit on a carpet squares.  I bought a garment rack and will use carabiner clips to hang up a large lined tablet, with songs written on it and other "school" information.

Ready to learn!

One of my little helper

Calendar set up

Behavior charts are in the classroom corner.  I can quickly reinforce good behaviors when I see them.

What we do: I sing a transition song first, then a Welcome song where I shake their hands and encourage them to shake each other's hands. It's so funny because at first they just looked at me like I was crazy, but now they are getting into it. We sing a Days of the Week song and then then I ask one of them to be my helper and move the calendar to the current day of the week. We talk about any plans for that day and the next day(gymnastics, any visitors, outings). Then we sing the Months song and count the days on the calendar.  I have the other girl help me put up the correct date on the calendar.  If I still have their attention, I will sing the weather song and we look out the window and talk about what the current weather is.  Finally we sing the Goodbye song. The whole circle time lasts about 4 minutes.  It's super quick and that is really all the attention span they have right now.

Things to keep in mind: This is my children's first introduction to formal learning, so they have no idea what is expected of them until I ask and repeat instructions about 100 times. We have been doing it for two weeks now and they are catching on, but we still have days where they are wondering off, playing with the train table and that is totally age appropriate!  I  redirect them to sit in their chairs, sing the songs and get involved by putting up calendar pieces. They know that they can earn stickers and rewards if they do what is asked of them, so I am able to remind them of that, also.  I just want this to be a fun experience for them and hopefully they can learn while doing it.

Behavior Chart for toddlers

Before having children of my own, I seriously dreamed of the ways that I would get them to behave.  I knew so much of what I was doing with my clients could apply to my own family.  I had everything planned out in my head; behavior charts, positive behavior support rewards, consequences, time-outs etc.  I didn't take into account how fast time gets away from you. In the blink of an eye you have two 2 year-olds!  We haven't done anything formal except sign language training (which was awesome before they could speak and I believe helped their vocal skills take off) and time-outs.  Time-outs were introduced at 18 months because we have a biter.  Since the girls are always in close quarters it is very hard to prevent biting all the time, so we had to use an immediate consequence for her behavior.  We also encourage her to use her words when she gets upset, instead of biting.  But you know, impulse control isn't a 2 year-olds biggest strength.

I wanted to work on encouraging positive behaviors and always thought 2 years old was the earliest I would want to begin a behavior chart with a child.  My girls have pretty good behavior most days, but they struggle at times like any other kid. As a parent it is good to always have something in place for the days that they are struggling.

Obviously, you don't have to be an artist to make your own clip art lol

Here are the steps to creating a behavior chart for toddlers.  It takes a little planning, but it is worth it!

1) List 3-5 things behaviors that you want them to do.  Focus on what you WANT them to do.  How is a child supposed to learn if you only tell them what NOT to do? For instance, one of the behaviors I want to work on is not whining.  I worded it as: Use words in big girl voice.  This is tells them what behavior I am expecting.  I have one vague behavior listed as "be polite".  I wanted a space where I could "catch them being good".

2) Make a chart and make/buy stickers.  You can laminate the chart so that it is reusable or laminate stickers and put them on velcro.

3) Choose a reinforcer.  USE FOOD at first. Food is a primary reinforcer and will quickly make your behavior chart a success.  If there are food issues I can understand going with something else that is a sure bet, but really food is the easiest way to begin.   Pick 3 special treats that they do not get everyday. It should be small or easily broken into pieces.  Our three are m&m's, fruit snacks (one at a time) and marshmallows. 

Day 1- make it super easy to earn stickers. Every time you give a sticker, pair it with one piece of food.  This pairs the primary reinforcer with a secondary reinforcer and eventually you will fade the food out. Enthusiastically tell your child what they did to earn the sticker and have them place it on their chart. Deliver the food immediately, placing it directly in their mouth or hand.

Day 2- it is still easy to earn stickers, however, they have to earn 2 stickers for one piece of food.  I decided to fade the food quickly, but you you know your children's temperament best and can decide to fade more slowly if you choose. 

Day 3- 3 stickers = 1 piece of food

Day 4- 4 stickers = 1 piece of food or 3 min on the ipad.  I HIGHLY doubt my girls are going to choose food over the ipad.

Day 5- 5 stickers = 4 min on ipad.  We have finished pairing the stickers with food and moved onto the reward for good behavior.  Our chart has 20 spots for good behavior which means they could potentially spend 16 minutes a day on the Ipad.  

General tips for the behavior chart- Go over the chart with them several times a day in the beginning and talk about what good behavior you like to see.  NEVER take away stickers. They earned them and focusing on good behavior will create better behavior.  

I will give an update after we have been using the behavior chart for a few weeks! 

Here we go again

I never took the time to write about how baby number 3 came about- so here it is.  After I gave birth to the girls my doctor told me I would be very fertile so be careful.  We really wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible and without medical intervention so we thought this was great.  When I stopped nursing the girls and my periods returned we were ecstatic to get a positive pregnancy test in October 2013 (The girls were only 10 months old!!).  Of course, the pregnancy was short lived and soon I miscarried.  After that experience we were really unsure of what to do next.  Trying to conceive without medical intervention seemed to not be working for us (we had miscarried in August 2010 also).  We had our five embryos in Las Vegas to consider as well.  As time passed we came to the conclusion that we were very content with our two children and that our family was complete.  Our first decision was to donate our embryos to science.  I called many research universities and no one was accepting embryos with our qualifications.  Unfortunately the only other option we felt comfortable with was to thaw and discard our embryos in June 2014.  Jason made an appointment to get a vasectomy in August 2014.

Literally 2 weeks before his appointment, I got a positive pregnancy test.  We could not believe it.  Well, I guess we could believe it.  GETTING pregnant doesn't seem to be my main issue as much as STAYING pregnant.  I was very nervous for our first appointment and was really thinking that worst- that there would be no heartbeat.  To my surprise we found a strong heartbeat.  The first trimester went by without any complications. We met with the high risk specialist to discuss whether or not I was at risk for an incompetent cervix or preterm labor again.  She said that they cannot know whether or not it was the twin pregnancy that caused complications, but she believed that we could make it through this pregnancy without any issues.  She agreed to monitor my cervix every two weeks and to put me on weekly progesterone shots.

My cervix appeared to be stable ranging anywhere between 2.6 and 2.8 cm.  A normal cervix should measure between 3-4cm.  The specialist said that this was fine, but we just had a bad feeling about it.  From our past experience we knew that the cervix could go from 4 cm to .6cm in two weeks and didn't want to take any chances so I asked to be monitored weekly.  At this weeks appointment the lowest measurement they took was 1.6 cm.  It had decreased significantly and gestational-wise I was at the point where it was now or never.  I am 22+5 weeks and they stop putting in cerclages at 24 weeks. The specialist decided to send me to Vanderbilt for overnight monitoring of contractions and to get a cerclage in the morning.

During monitoring they found that I was not having any contractions so the shortening was not due to pre-term labor.  This is good because a cerclage will not help stop pre-term labor or contractions.  In the morning they got me prepped for surgery.  The procedure only lasted about 30 mins.  I had a spinal epidural (as in a C-section, but not as dense) and some happy medications so that I wouldn't remember anything. Recovery only took a few hours and then I was sent home with instructions to take it easy for a few days.  The doctor told me that I can pick up the girls, but to try not to or have them climb onto my lap.  The doctors are very against bed rest and believe that it could do more harm than good.  After I get a few stable ultrasounds they are going to let me resume activity as normal.

The implications of delivering a baby at this point in my pregnancy are so scary.  At this point a baby would not survive and even in a week or two survival would mean a micro preemie which comes with a long road in the NICU and possibly beyond.  We are praying that this cerclage does the trick and I can keep this baby cooking for at least another 3 months.